The day of randomess
by shbeba
Summary: I'm back! Like anyone cares... anyhow chapter 2 is here! A trip to the school of the mentally insane!
1. Default Chapter

The Day of Randomness!  
  
I decided to write another humor fic because I love it! So. in this story, random things happen to the Autobots and Decepticons! I hope you enjoy!^________^!  
  
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5:00 PM Autobot's base The horror begins!  
  
Hot Shot: * Runs into kitchen* Red Alert! Is moron and idiot a cool name?  
  
Red Alert: No that's very bad!  
  
Hot Shot: Okay. What about freak of nature?  
  
Red Alert: No.  
  
Blur: * walks and downs three gallons of Java* How was the school for the mentally insane Hot Shot?  
  
Hot Shot: GREAT! I learned to color Barney, Dora and Bob the Builder! But I'm a little old for Bob the Builder, once they didn't finish a paint job! But Dora rocks! One time they lost a hamster, it brought me to tears! BARNEY ROCKS!  
  
Jetfire: * walks in and looks through the cupboard* Hey Red Alert. where are the girl scout cookies?  
  
Red Alert: The decepticons stole them yesterday.  
  
Jetfire: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO * breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Red Alert: It was just some lousy cookies..  
  
Jetfire: Lousy cookies! LOUSY COOKIES! HOW DARE YOU INSULT GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! * takes out laser gun* DIE!  
  
Red Alert: O.o * runs away with Jetfire behind him*  
  
Blur: That was strange. * starts twitching* I need more Java.. * downs four more gallons of java* That's good stuff.  
  
Wheelie Jack: * crashes through ceiling* HI Hot Shot! Long time no see!  
  
Blur: * extremely hyper* I going to buy all the barbies in Toys "R" Us! * Runs off*  
  
Optimus: What was that all about?  
  
Wheelie Jack: I don't know. * takes out box of girl scout cookies*  
  
Jetfire: * Crashes through wall* COOKIES!!!!!! * Steals Wheelie Jack's cookies*  
  
Hot Shot: Optimus. Where do babies come from?  
  
Optimus: O.o Uh. It stars with a mommy and a daddy robot and. long story! Don't call me! I'll call you! * runs away through the wall*  
  
Minicon named Fixer: Will people use the doors around here!  
  
Jetfire: I love cookies! * starts stuffing face like a pig*  
  
Wheelie Jack: What is his problem?  
  
Red Alert: * comes in with four degree burns* He loves girl scout cookies. Don't insult them.  
  
Wheelie Jack: I think I'm going to go to the Krispy Kream!  
  
Blur: * runs in* HAHAHAHAHA! I now have all the Dora dolls in. * gets sneaky look* MEGATRON'S CLOSET! MUHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Hot Shot: Let's do the chicken dance! * starts doing Chicken Dance*  
  
Blur: Foolish mortals! I will rule your bath tub! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! * runs off*  
  
Red Alert: Is it me. or is every one going insane?  
  
Optimus: * walks by caring books on how to be a truck driver* It's just you Red Alert!  
  
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At Decepticon's base..  
  
Megatron: WHO DID IT!!  
  
Thrust: Did what?  
  
Megatron: Who stuffed three hundred Dora dolls in my closet!  
  
Starscream: It was Blur on a java rush.  
  
Megatron: Really? Well then you have permission to whack yourself upside the head with a block of cheese.  
  
Starscream: ?_? Why would I do that?  
  
Megatron: Because it's give your minions permission to whack themselves upside the head with a block of cheese day! Everyone is doing it!  
  
Shows Demolisher whacking himself upside the head with a block of cheese.  
  
Starscream: I'll pass, thank you.  
  
Megatron: Then I'll have to throw you off the moon!  
  
Starscream: How?  
  
Megatron: Like this! * Pulls out honking big gun*  
  
Starscream: AHHHHHHHHH! * jumps of the moon*  
  
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At the Krispy Kream.  
  
Hot Shot: * has his face pressed against the glass* I didn't know they made donuts!  
  
Red Alert: What did you think! They grew on trees?!  
  
Hot Shot: Yes I did!  
  
Jetfire: O my god! Look! It's the. It's the..  
  
Everyone: WHAT?!  
  
Jetfire: * Optics get big* GIRL SCOUT COOKIE SELLERS!!!  
  
Girl scout #1: Hello! Would you like to buy some cookies?  
  
Jetfire: I'LL TAKE THEM ALL! * takes out a billion dollars*  
  
Girl scout #2: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I WUV YOU! * Hugs Jetfire*  
  
Jetfire: ME TOO!  
  
Sideways: * walks in* What is going on in here?  
  
Hot Shot: SIDEWAYS!!!!  
  
Sideways: Hi.. * Turns to guy at the cash register* Can I have three dozen glazed donuts?  
  
Hot Shot: * tackles Sideways* Why sideways! Why did you take the shiny sword from me?!  
  
Sideways: Because you are that annoying.  
  
Blur: Lay off my JAVA!!!!!  
  
Everyone: Wha?  
  
Blur: * dinks all the java in the Krispy Kreame* YEEEEEHHHEEHEE!  
  
Red Alert: Calm down Blur!  
  
Blur: HEHEHE! You'll never guess what I did!!!!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Blur: I locked Optimus in a room full of.. * gets evil look* BLUE'S CLUES RERUNS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
Megatron: * suddenly appears* We must save him!  
  
Demolisher: But you hate him!  
  
Megatron: I do. But I don't want him to die because of homicidal java maniac!  
  
Blur: That's an insane homicidal java maniac.. WITH A TWIST!  
  
Red Alert: Fine. coming Jetfire?  
  
Jetfire: Go away! I want to be alone with the love of my life! * starts eating cookies*  
  
Sideways: I'll be leaving now..  
  
Blur: No your not! * starts dragging him* Where going to hack into the matrixs!  
  
Sideways: This is random..  
  
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In a locked room..  
  
Optimus: * wearing a green stripped shirt* We got to find another paw print, that's the second clue! We put in a notebook, then what do we do? BLUE'S CLUES! BLUE'S CLUES!  
  
Sideswipe: Optimus are you okay?  
  
Optimus: We need a copy of this episode!  
  
Sideswipe: You've been watching it for.THREE HOURS STRAIGHT!!!  
  
Starscream: * crashes through the ceiling* OW! Megatron is insane!  
  
Optimus: Want to play Blue's Clues?  
  
Starscream: O.o I was wrong about Optimus the whole time.. He is insane!  
  
Megatron:* Burst through the wall with both Autobots and decepticons* Optimus! Are you alive?  
  
Optimus: Megatron! You have to watch this episode!  
  
Sideswipe: I'm hungry.  
  
Optimus: ME too!  
  
Megatron: Me three!  
  
Red Alert: We get it! But what are we going to eat?  
  
Hot Shot: * gets light bulb* I know!  
  
Everyone: What!  
  
Hot Shot: PENUT BUTTER AND JELLY!  
  
Starscream: O no. dorky music! You know what that means!  
  
Starscream and Scavenger: A STUPID SONG! AHHHHHHH!  
  
Hot Shot's song: ( This is based on a real song! O.o Isn't that unbelievable!)  
  
I like peanut butter! Especially with jam! Mix them both together, Peanut butter and jam! Put it on some crackers! Put it on some bread! It goes good with anything! PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM! If you're really hungry, can't think of what to eat. There just one thing for you to do. Get up off your feet and get.. PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM! Everybody clap your hands Come on stomp your feet! Ever time your tummy growls and you can't think of what to eat. Grab some peanut butter! Get yourself some jam! Mix them both together.PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM! If you're really hungry..  
  
Optimus: * holding mallet* I had to do it! HE probably never stop!  
  
Megatron: OPTIMUS! You saved us all!  
  
Blur: So we meet again mister Anderson!  
  
Everyone: WHAT?  
  
Sideways: He thinks he's in the matrixs.  
  
Everyone: O.o okay.  
  
Blur: EEEEEKKKKK!  
  
Starscream: What Blur.  
  
Blur: * waving hands frantically about* Spid.Spid..Spider!  
  
Starscream: * turns around* O my god..  
  
Giant robot eating spider: * drools* fffffooooooodddddd..  
  
Blur: * runs around* What do we do! * grabs Optimus* WHAT DO WE DO!  
  
Optimus: I don't know!  
  
Sideways: Ask the author.  
  
Starscream: Ya right! Like if I said Oh authoress! Please save us from the spider so we may live again to be tortured!  
  
Me: OKAY! * takes away Giant robot eating spider*  
  
Starscream: So there is an authoress writing this! I wasn't crazy!!!  
  
Wheelie Jack: Did you know this chapter is over!  
  
Everyone: YAAAAAAH!  
  
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I hope that was good! It took me forever to write a report! I have to give thanks to my little bro on some parts. PLEASE R/R! 


	2. The School for the mentally insane

The Day of Randomness continues!  
  
Okay... I thought of some more random thoughts to continue this! Hope you enjoy chapter two!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or I wouldn't be buying one cent candy for everyone! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~  
  
Autobot base... early morning  
  
Red Alert: * making breakfast * I wonder what takes everybody so long to get up?  
  
Optimus: * drags himself into kitchen* morning...  
  
Red Alert: Is anybody else up?  
  
Optimus: Don't know.  
  
Hot Shot: * Bounds in wearing pink pajamas with teddy bears on them* GOOOD MORNING!  
  
Optimus: Hot Shot... to loud this early!  
  
Blur: * rubbing sleep from optics* Have any java?  
  
Jetfire: * Wearing a NASA robe * Were are the coco puffs?  
  
Scavenger: * reading newspaper* I don't believe this! Downtown explosion blamed on Minicon!  
  
Starscream: * eating a lot of pancakes* Who makes this stuff?  
  
Megatron: * acting civil to Optimus* So how is your morning?  
  
Optimus: too loud...  
  
Demolisher: * acting like a British person* Great tea! Wot wot!  
  
Cyclonus: I want Froot Loops!  
  
Thrust: I hate grapefruit!  
  
Sideways: Why is everyone in the same base when they hate each other?  
  
The room goes silent.  
  
Starscream: Who wants the syrup!  
  
Hot Shot: I do!  
  
Breakfast continues smoothly until...  
  
Loud Obnoxious Alarm: BEEP! BEEP! CAN YOU HERE ME! I SAID BEEP!  
  
Optimus: Too loud! * blows up alarm* much better... * falls asleep*  
  
Hot Shot: YAH! It's time for school! Today I have to bring my friends! * starts stuffing random things in backpack* Who's coming?  
  
Sideswipe: * strikes heroic pose* I do!  
  
Jetfire: * half asleep* Where are we going?  
  
Blur: * on java high* ME! PICK ME! I LOVE LEARNING!  
  
Red Alert: I have to go to keep you in line.  
  
Hot Shot: YEEEEEEEEAH!! Let's go! The bus awaits! * Grabs Sideswipe, Jetfire, Blur and Red Alert*  
  
After they left...  
  
Optimus: * suddenly awake* Are they gone?  
  
Megatron: * nods*  
  
Optimus: You know what that means...  
  
Megatron and Optimus: LASER STORM LIVE!!! * run to big screen TV to watch little kids play laser storm*  
  
Starscream: Hello? Where still here!  
  
Megatron: Then go away!  
  
Everyone left: FINE! * run out the door *  
  
At the bus stop....  
  
Hot Shot: Boy, this book bags heavy!  
  
Jetfire: * inside book bag* Help me! Help me! I can't breath!  
  
Blur: I swear that book bag talked to me...  
  
Sideswipe: * digging for Jetfire* Hold on Jetfire! I'll save you! * pulls Jetfire out*  
  
Red Alert: * to self* Let the bus come soon! These idiots are gonna be the death of me!  
  
After this is said... a giant spaceship painted yellow falls out of the sky and smashes Carlos's house.  
  
Carlos: That is freaky! This happens every morning! CURSE YOU!  
  
Hot Shot: Come on! The bus won't bite! But the rabid Minicon will! * drags them on the bus*  
  
Gus the Bus: Hop on the magic school bus! Hop on the magic school bus! * repeats for the whole three hour trip*  
  
Back at the base...  
  
Optimus: COME ON! That was cheap!  
  
Megatron: I know! He clearly missed Jake by a mile!  
  
Optimus: Why are you agreeing with me?  
  
Megatron: I don't know...  
  
Room is silent except for Starscream yelling at seagulls.  
  
Starscream: You nasty birds! I'm not your personal... ARRGHHHH! I need to go to Jerry's car wash again! NOOOOOO!  
  
At the school for the mentally insane... First Period Finding Your inner sanity  
  
Mr. Hippie: Greeting mental children. We are here to get in touch with are groovy inner sanity! Now do this! * starts spinning around and doing funny hopping dance while singing Michael Jackson*  
  
Everyone except Red Alert and Jet Fire copy his moves for a whole hour.  
  
Red Alert: I thought was suppose to make you sane! Not go insane!  
  
Jetfire: I'm going to have nightmares for a week! * eats girl scout cookies*  
  
Second Period... the period that counts! (the one where gonna focus on!)  
  
Evil robot with storm clouds and evil things around him: Good morning FOOLISH mortals to my classroom of DEATH! I mean learning. I'm will be regarded as King, master or Lord Evilness!  
  
Hot Shot: What about mister nice?  
  
Lord Evilness: DO I LOOK NICE TO YOU?!?!  
  
Hot Shot: Yes.  
  
Lord Evilness: You're now regarded as the class idiot!  
  
Hot Shot: Thank you for this great honor!  
  
Lord Evilness: Now for... ATTENDENCE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Blur: it isn't that bad.  
  
Lord Evilness: * death glare* You must Blur. The class idiot is Hot Shot. The Girl scout cookie physco is Jetfire. The only sane one is Red Alert and the wanna-be hero is Sideswipe!  
  
Everyone: GASP!  
  
Lord Evilness: And now the rest of the class... Haiku.  
  
Haiku ( minicon, talks in Haiku!): I am here my lord/ I will love to learn with you/Can we get started?  
  
Lord evilness: Miniature Prime, Rabid Minicon, the stalker who stalk at midnight, Dead Beat and... what the!  
  
Everyone: WHAT!  
  
Lord Evilness: Turbo Tax Deluxes?  
  
Turbo Tax Deluxes: Pay your taxes to the robot cyborgs that run the government! Or perish!  
  
Lord Evilness: okay... Well today my idiots of mental ness... prepare to learn the stupid robot who stupidly explored stupid Cybortron!  
  
Hot Shot: * frantically waving hand*  
  
Lord Evilness: What now!  
  
Hot Shot: I have to use the little robots room!  
  
Lord Evilness: Fine!  
  
Hot Shot: That's okay. I don't have to go anymore!  
  
Sideswipe: Um... me lord?  
  
Lord Evilness: WHHHHHAAAATTT!  
  
Sideswipe: There's a tornado coming!  
  
Red Alert: Sure there is! It just so happens that a twister is going to hit!  
  
Suddenly the classroom is sucked up and dropped somewhere. (DUH!)  
  
Hot Shot: I guess where not in Kansas anymore...  
  
Red Alert: We were never IN Kansas!  
  
Lord Evilness: * goes to door* I'm going to see where we are. *Opens door *  
  
Munchkins: We represent the lollypop guild!  
  
Lord Evilness: HOLY MOLY!  
  
Blur: Die Munchkins! * blows up the land of Oz*  
  
Jetfire: Great job Blur! Now how are we gonna get home?  
  
Blur: Hmmm.... Didn't think of that before...  
  
Hot Shot: I know! We can click are heals together and say there no place like home three times!  
  
Lord Evilness: That won't work stupid! He blew up the funny shoes too! Here. Read this. * gives Hot Shot a book on how to create tornadoes*  
  
Hot Shot: Errrr...I can't read though!  
  
Lord Evilness: Then read this! * Gives him a book called Reading for Dummies*  
  
Hot Shot: But how am I...  
  
Lord Evilness: Don't you back talk me! You gonna read it and your gonna like it! Until then, you're not to watch a single episode of Dora the Explorer!  
  
Hot Shot: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! * stops and tries to read* Err... Red Alert, how do you say this word?  
  
Red Alert: Spell it.  
  
Hot Shot: I  
  
Red Alert: -_-  
  
Haiku: My lord of the class/Tornadoes can be made with air/with hot and cold air!  
  
Lord Evilness: Good thing we have Hot Shot! He produces a lot of hot air.  
  
Miniature Prime: Whataboutthecoldair?Nooneherehasacoldpersonality!  
  
Jetfire: We could use Blur. We just we to stuff him full of ice cubes.  
  
Blur: No.  
  
Jetfire: *Sticks tube in his head* Yes. *Turns switch and fills him with ice cubes* How's it feeling?  
  
Blur: C-c-c-c-o-o-l-l-d-d-!  
  
Hot Shot: YEAH! BLUR CAN SPELL OUT A WORD!  
  
The sudden combustion of cold and hot air sends the classroom into the Autobot's base. On top of the TV.  
  
Megatron and Optimus: NOOOO! * they break down sobbing *  
  
Lord Evilness: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Foolish mortals! See what schools can really do?  
  
Hot Shot: O yeah! We were suppose to bring in pictures of are family! I brought mine! * waves a picture around*  
  
Red Alert: Well... then go up front and tells all about it!  
  
Hot Shot: *holds up a picture with someone who looks like Optimus in a pink dress blond hair and make-up* This is Optimus Mommy! *holds up another picture with someone who looks exactly like Megatron in a suit, glasses and carrying a briefcase and talking on a cell phone.* And this Megadad!  
  
Jetfire: *Looks at picture and then at Megatron and Optimus and does a few more time* I can't place it but something is familiar about those two...  
  
Cyclonus: *falls out of the sky and lands on Blur* Greetings! I'm the java fairy! Have some! * dumps java in blur's head*  
  
Blur: * Gets crazy look* Java Java... JAVA! * puts on black coat and sunglasses* Time to bust you guys free of the matrix!  
  
Sideways: - -; Here we go again...  
  
Phone: RING! RING! HELLO! I'M RINGING! ANSWER ME!  
  
Blur: *picks up phone, grabs Sideways and Jetfire and disappears into phone*  
  
Everyone else: O.o  
  
Sideswipe: Just like in the movie! Maybe the matrix DOES exists!  
  
Optimus: * steals Hot Shot's picture and burns it then turns to Megatron* Can't let everyone know we have civilized brothers and sisters!  
  
Megatron: The TV at my place isn't broken! We can still watch the Frisbee tournament!  
  
Optimus: YAAAAA! Let's go! * runs off with Megatron*  
  
Hot Shot: My pictures gone! WHAAAAAA!  
  
Red Alert: I wonder where Blur is?  
  
Scavenger: Do we really care?  
  
Lord Evilness: Everyone here is your homework! MUHAHAHahAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Starscream: But I'm not in your class!  
  
Lord Evilness: Do I care? Anyhow, your assignment is a twenty page report of the habits of the extremely rare, so rare there is only one and no one has every seen it Robotic minicon mongrel mongoose!  
  
Hot Shot: Like this? * holds up a minicon in a mongoose outfit*  
  
Lord Evilness: NO! I mean yes! Where DID you find that?  
  
Hot Shot: In my pants.  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Hot Shot: What? A show said to put a mongoose in your pants and I did!  
  
Suddenly Blur, Jetfire and Sideways appear.  
  
Blur: So we meet again Mr. Smith.  
  
Scavenger: Who me?  
  
Blur: Don't play dumb with me! Trinity! Morpheus! Lets kick there agent butts!  
  
Jetfire: I'm not Trinity! I'm Jetfire! And these guns are heavy!  
  
Sideways: At least I got the cool sunglasses! Remember, think the impossible, do the impossible!  
  
Jetfire: Let's see! * runs up the wall and does a flip stops in slow motion, view switches and he kicks Cyclonus* Wow! That's awesome!  
  
Scavenger: I'll have to tranquilize Blur now! * starts shooting needles full of sleep serum*  
  
Blur: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! * jumps into the air and flies away*  
  
Sideways: *sneaks out back door*  
  
Jetfire: * raids kitchen*  
  
Starscream: * holds up sign saying: I'm on American Idol*  
  
Lord Evilness: * holds up sign saying: Schools finally out. Then disappears*  
  
Seagulls: *hold up sign saying: We are dirty birds!*  
  
Optimus: * holds up sign saying: Why is nobody talking?*  
  
Hot Shot: HHHHHHELO OPTIMUS! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE!  
  
Blur: * lands on Hot Shot* You! Where did you take Morpheus?  
  
Scavenger: *whacks Blur over the head* That is enough!  
  
Blur: X_X  
  
Starscream: *Starring down seagulls* I'm watching you...  
  
Hot Shot: LET'S GO TO THE ZOO!  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Hot Shot: Today is Opposite day! That means you really said yes!  
  
Everyone: NOOOO! NOT MORE TORTURE!  
  
Alexis: That's another chapter though. This ones threw.  
  
Everyone: YEAH!  
  
Alexis: You have a few days off to think about it!  
  
Everyone: YEAH!  
  
Alexis: But then you go to the zoo of incredibly dangerous animals!  
  
Everyone: O no!  
  
Highwire: THAT'S ALL! HAVE A GOOD ONE FOLkS!  
  
Hot Shot: A good what?  
  
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That's it for this chapter. Please read + review= ^_^me happy and more chapters! 


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